Speaking truth in spaces where coercion, fear, and control masquerade as leadership.
Leadership is meant to cultivate safety and growth, yet in some spaces, silence becomes the soil where harm takes root. Toxic leadership thrives not only through the actions of the few, but through the silence of the many.
Many leaders have stepped away from workplaces where racism, exclusion, bullying, gaslighting, coercive control, and intimidation were used as leadership tools. In such spaces, fear becomes the organising principle, truth becomes dangerous — and silence becomes survival.
But silence is never neutral. Over time, it corrodes trust, dulls intuition, and isolates those trying to lead with integrity. To reclaim wellbeing in our work, we must learn to name what harms, and to breathe again where the air has been held too long.
The Culture of Silence – When Fear Masks Professionalism
In many organisations, the language of “professionalism” is used to suppress discomfort rather than to foster accountability. People are encouraged to “keep it positive,” “don’t take it personally,” or “be a team player,” even when the issue at hand is ethical harm.
This culture of silence allows bullying and manipulation to operate unchecked. It rewards compliance and punishes courage. And yet, when people do speak, they are often labelled as “difficult,” “emotional,” or “not aligned with organisational values.”
Healthy professionalism is not the absence of emotion; it is the presence of integrity. True leadership creates conditions where people can speak truth safely — not only upwards, but across and within.
When silence becomes a performance of harmony, the organisation begins to lose its wairua.
Gaslighting as Systemic Behaviour
Gaslighting in leadership contexts is rarely about one individual — it is often embedded within structures that protect power. When manipulation is rewarded as strategy, distortion becomes culture.
Systemic gaslighting shows up when lived experience is dismissed as “miscommunication,” when accountability processes are delayed until fatigue silences the complainant, or when harm is reframed as “a learning opportunity.”
These tactics fracture trust and erode collective confidence. They teach people to doubt what they see and feel — to internalise dysfunction as personal failure.
Naming gaslighting for what it is reclaims clarity. It interrupts the pattern and restores truth as a collective value, not a personal risk.
The Cost of Compliance
Silence has a cost. Those who remain in toxic environments often carry invisible burdens — exhaustion, anxiety, self-doubt, and disconnection from purpose.
Many begin to question their own worth, their competence, even their memory of events.
For Māori and Indigenous professionals, this cost is compounded by cultural dissonance. When collective values like aroha and whanaungatanga are weaponised — used to pressure compliance or mask control — the harm cuts deep.
The cost of compliance is not just personal; it is systemic. It weakens organisational integrity and diminishes the mauri of the collective.
Speaking with Integrity – Boundaries, Voice, and Exit
To speak with integrity is not to attack, but to illuminate. It is an act of restoration, not rebellion.
Courageous leadership means naming what harms — respectfully, firmly, and with the intent to heal rather than humiliate. Sometimes, that means staying and leading change. Other times, it means stepping away to preserve one’s own wellbeing and wairua.
Boundaries are not barriers; they are breathing spaces that protect clarity.
Finding voice after silence is an act of mana motuhake — a reclaiming of agency, autonomy, and dignity.
When we choose integrity over acceptance, we begin to restore the collective breath.
Leadership Regeneration – Rebuilding Safe Space
Regeneration begins with reflection. Leaders must ask: What am I creating in others through my presence? Do people breathe easier when I enter the room, or when I leave it?
Safe, Kaupapa-Aligned Leadership™ is not about control — it is about coherence. It creates an environment where clarity and compassion coexist, where people can speak truthfully without fear of consequence.
Regenerative leaders model humility, transparency, and accountability. They transform silence from a shield into a sanctuary — a space for reflection, not repression.
When silence protects harm, leadership fractures its own foundation. To restore integrity, we must speak — not to destroy, but to bring light, truth, and safety back into the room.
Reflection for Leaders
- Where might silence be serving comfort rather than truth in my leadership?
- How do I respond when others name harm — with defensiveness or with curiosity?
- What boundaries protect my integrity, and how do I uphold them with grace?
- How do I use my influence to restore holistic safety and wellbeing for others?
Further Exploration
For practical guidance on fostering safe and transparent organisational cultures, see:
Public Service Commission – Speaking Up: Model Standards — setting expectations for openness, protection, and accountability in workplaces across Aotearoa.
Office of the Auditor-General – Listen up / Speak up — part of the Integrity Framework, supporting leaders and organisations to build cultures that encourage voice, responsiveness, and integrity in action.
Image credit: Tahere, K. (2025). Used with permission.
Author: Megan Tahere. (2025).