Reframing courage through Tukutuku Kōrero — from confrontation to commitment.
In traditional tukutuku, the Waharua pattern symbolises commitment, courage, and partnership — the crossing points that hold under tension. Each intersection represents the moment where two threads meet, test their strength, and stay woven. In leadership, courageous conversations are much the same. They are not acts of confrontation but of commitment — a willingness to stay in the weave when things become uncomfortable.
Within a kaupapa Māori worldview, courage is not the absence of fear, but the presence of integrity. It is expressed through relational endurance — the capacity to listen, to remain open, and to uphold connection when silence or avoidance might feel easier.
In this way, He Waharua reminds us that courage in conversation is not about dominance, but about dedication to the relationship.
Reframing Courage: From Confrontation to Whakarongo
In many professional contexts, the phrase “courageous conversation” carries a charge — a sense of something heavy, risky, or uncomfortable. Yet from a kaupapa-aligned perspective, the first act of courage is not speaking, but listening.
Whakarongo i mua i te kōrero — listen before you speak — is a principle of rhythm and respect. It recognises that presence precedes persuasion, and that people move only when they feel understood.
When courage is reframed through whakarongo, difficult conversations transform from confrontations into exchanges of clarity, care, and accountability. They become tukutuku kōrero — woven conversations — where listening, reflection, and honesty maintain the pattern of trust.
Four Strands of He Waharua — Weaving Courage in Practice
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Whakapapa – Remember the relationship.
Every kōrero sits within a whakapapa of connection — shared purpose, histories, and intentions. Begin by recalling what binds you before addressing what divides you.
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Whakarongo – Listen before leading.
People move when they feel heard. Create space for understanding before solution. Listening shifts defensiveness into dialogue and restores the mauri of relationship.
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Wānanga – Speak truth with clarity and care.
Courageous kōrero is not about winning. It is about naming what matters with respect and precision. Speak to uplift the integrity of the relationship, not to secure your position.
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Whaihua – Seek meaningful growth.
A courageous conversation should move toward collective betterment, not individual victory. Ask: What new understanding or alignment can emerge through this exchange?
Kaupapa-Aligned Application
From a kaupapa Māori perspective, courage is relational. Ngākau māhaki (humble presence) allows leaders to hold firm without diminishing others. Whaihua (meaningful purpose and growth) ensures that courage serves the kaupapa, not the ego.
Through this lens, courageous conversations become acts of leadership that restore rhythm and coherence — reaffirming both the integrity of people and the purpose they share.
Closing Reflection
Courageous conversations test the weave of our relationships — but they also reveal their strength.
Like the Waharua pattern, the tension between threads is what gives structure its beauty and resilience.
To lead with courage is not to avoid that tension, but to stay present within it — to listen, speak, and align with both conviction and compassion.
When we approach each kōrero as tukutuku kōrero — a living weave of trust and truth — we transform conflict into connection and conversation into contribution.
Reflection for Leaders
Take a moment to consider:
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When have I chosen silence over honesty, and what rhythm was lost in that moment?
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How might I hold courageous conversations that strengthen, not strain, relationships?
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What would change in my leadership if courage began with whakarongo?
Further Exploration
For wider perspectives on navigating courageous conversations and relational leadership:
Courageous Conversations NZ with Robyn Hill — thought-provoking insights on how to have effective, values-based conversations and manage personal conflict with integrity.
MyHR — How to have difficult conversations at work (Thrush Marsh, S., 2025).
Employment New Zealand — Steps to resolve problems
Image credit: Tahere, K. (2025). Used with permission.
Author: Megan Tahere. (2025).