Why resistance to change is seldom about change itself — and how listening restores trust, rhythm, and readiness.
When organisations talk about change, what we often encounter instead is resistance. Yet, as Simon Sinek reminds us, people rarely resist the change itself — they resist how it makes them feel. Facts and frameworks might appeal to logic, but fear, uncertainty, and loss of control move much deeper. True leadership begins not with explanation, but with whakarongo — listening that acknowledges emotion before enforcing action.
Why Resistance Shows Up
Resistance is not a problem to fix but a signal to interpret. People resist because:
-
They fear losing job security, autonomy, or belonging.
-
They feel that change has been decided for them, not with them.
-
They do not feel seen, heard, or valued in the process.
-
The emotional weight of disruption exceeds the rational pull of improvement.
As Sinek explains, “You don’t fear change — you fear being changed.” Resistance is therefore not about rejection; it is about protection — of mana, identity, and meaning.
A Counterintuitive Approach to Leading Change
Sinek’s work offers practical, human insight: that lasting change begins with empathy, not persuasion. His approach reframes leadership from “managing resistance” to cultivating relational alignment.
-
Listen before you lead — Most change efforts begin with a presentation. Sinek suggests they should begin with a conversation. Listening is more than hearing — it is creating an environment where people feel heard. When individuals feel acknowledged, trust forms, anxiety softens, and readiness grows.
-
Acknowledge emotion before facts — Facts do not defeat fear; connection does. Change must first be felt as safe before it can be understood as strategic. The leader’s task is to help people move from fear → safety → curiosity → participation.
-
Apply the “Five Plus Rule” — Drawing from the diffusion of innovation, Sinek notes that successful change requires early engagement. It is not enough to convince a few; leaders must actively involve the first five percent who can influence others through relational trust. Listen early, test ideas, adjust in real time.
-
Frame change as continuity, not disruption — People resist when they experience change as rupture. Frame it instead as coherence — a next chapter in the organisation’s whakapapa. When leaders anchor transformation in kaupapa, they invite people to see evolution, not erasure.
Kaupapa-Aligned Application
From a kaupapa Māori perspective, resistance signals imbalance between tikanga (how we act) and kawa (what we uphold). Transformational change therefore requires rhythm — a restoration of relational integrity through listening, reflection, and co-design.
-
Whakawhirinaki (Trust) — built through presence and empathy.
-
Hanga tahi (Co-creation) — where shared design becomes shared ownership, and people move with what they help to build.
-
Whaihua (Meaningful growth) — linking change to collective purpose and contribution.
-
Ngākau māhaki (Humble presence) — leading with grace and relational awareness, not authority or ego.
In practice, these principles return the focus from performance to presence — from enforcing change to cultivating readiness. They remind leaders that transformation moves at the speed of trust, and that relational rhythm always precedes organisational rhythm.
Five reflective questions for leaders:
-
What unspoken fears are shaping the response to this change?
-
Who has been invited to influence the process — not just react to it?
-
How am I framing this change as an evolution of our kaupapa rather than a disruption?
-
Where can I create space for kōrero whakarongo — genuine listening and shared sense-making?
-
How will I measure both the outcome and the experience of this change?
Closing Reflection
Change is not an event — it is a haerenga, a journey of alignment, rhythm, and relationship. When people feel part of the journey, rather than subject to it, resistance dissolves into participation.
As Simon Sinek reminds us, the first step in leading change is not planning it — it is listening to those who will walk it.
Reflection for Leaders
-
Where have I prioritised information over connection?
-
How might I transform my next change moment into a kōrero rather than a memo?
-
What rhythm of whakarongo could sustain trust through uncertainty?
Further Exploration
To explore kaupapa-aligned approaches to transforming resistance into rhythm, visit Manawa Kōkopu – Strategic Consultancy Services
Manawa Kōkopu supports organisations and leaders to navigate change through kaupapa-aligned strategy, reflective leadership practice, and relational coherence — integrating cultural intelligence with contemporary change frameworks.
For complementary perspectives on adaptive leadership and change dynamics, you may also enjoy: Change Management Institute Blog — global insights into evolving change practices, leadership readiness, and the psychology of transition.
MIT Sloan Management Review by David M. Sluss (2025): “Change Management – How to Avoid the Hero Trap” — an exploration of why authentic, shared leadership outperforms the single “hero leader” model in driving meaningful change.
Together, these resources offer a balanced lens — connecting kaupapa, strategy, and evidence-based change practices to foster leadership that is conscious, relational, and enduring in its impact.
Image credit: Tahere, K. (2025). Used with permission.
Author: Megan Tahere. (2025).